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| Your child is LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual,
and Transgender) |
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| You and your family are not alone, there are many people
who have had the strength and courage to come out to their
parents as LGBT. Some statistics state that 1 in 10 people
are LGBT, there are approximately 1 billion Muslims in the
world. If 1 in 10 is LGBT that makes 100 million Muslim people
who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender, like your
child and approximately 200 million parents just like you. |
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| Initially, you may feel that your child has died, and you
may go through a grieving process with the accompanying emotions
of shock, denial, disbelief, guilt, anger, a sense of loss,
and dissapointment. You have not lost your child, what you
have lost is the perception you had of your child. As you
love your child, you owe it to him/her and yourself to understand
and accept the reality of the situation. |
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| There are many people out there that you can talk to, who
have been through what you are going through now. PFLAG
(Parents, families and friends of Lesbians and Gays) are an
excellent resource and can help you through this difficult
period. |
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| As with every other culture, Muslim cultures throughout the
world have negative stereotypes of LGBT people, and have created
myths and stories that have served only to alienate and hurt
LGBT people. You probably have many questions, many of which
stem from the myths and stories you may have heard, we try
to answer some of them below. (Some answers courtesy of Himat
part of LEAN) |
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| Our religion says that homosexuality
is a sin |
| What will people in my community say? |
| Is homosexuality brought about by poor
parenting or a lack of religion? |
| Homosexuality is a Western phenomena |
| Is homosexuality an illness? |
| Maybe I should take my child to the
local Imaam/Peer/Fakhir/Baba |
| Is there a cure for homosexuality? |
| Once my child is married s/he will
be unhappy |
| Allah sent AIDS to punish homosexuals |
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| Our religion says that homosexuality is a sin |
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| Muslim religious leaders have joined Christian and Jewish leaders
in issuing a joint pleas for tolerance for LGBT people. They
have issued a joint letter that states "We affirm our resolute
support for Dr Williams's (leader of the Anglican Church) endeavour
and we rededicate our efforts to fighting ...homophobia, and
to defending the values of tolerance, inclusiveness and respect
for differences we all cherish" |
| - The
Guardian 26th September 2003 |
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| What will people in my community
say? |
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| You will be surprised to find that many of your peers, friends,
and family will be sympathetic towards the situation that
you are in. Many will even be supportive to you and your family,
as most are aware that one day it could easily be their family
in the same situation. If there are people who shun you, or
are difficult towards you and your family, it would be a wise
step to re-evaluate your relationship with those people. Do
you really want to have friends who kick you when you are
down? |
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| Also bear in mind, that if you feel you are having a difficult
time within your community, how do you think your child is
feeling? |
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| Is homosexuality brought about by
poor parenting or a lack of religion? |
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| No. It's not your fault. Parents can't influence their childs
sexuality. LGBT people grow up in all types of homes, with
all types of families be they religious or non-religious. |
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| Homosexuality is a Western phenomena |
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| LGBT people represent every socio-economic, ethnic and religious
background possible, and live in every country of the world. |
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| Is homosexuality an illness? |
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| Homosexuality is not an illness or a disability and should
not be classed as one. It is a statement of love between two
people of the same gender. The World Health Organisation (WHO)
states "Sexual orientation is not to be regarded as a
disorder". |
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| Maybe I should take my child to the
local Imam/Peer/Fakhir/Baba |
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| Many parents take their children to see the local Imaam/Peer/Fakhir/Baba
to 'cure' their child (called reparative therapy). The effect
of this is a negative relationship between you and your child,
this also causes guilt, depression and low self esteem in
your child. |
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| The pressure to conform to cultural and religious stereotypes
can lead to many LGBT people harming themselves. Recent research
has shown that 25% of young men under the age of 25 who are
questioning their sexuality are more likely to attempt suicide. |
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| By labelling LGBT people as sick or as sinners reinforces
society's homophobia and encourages violence towards LGBT
people. Would you want your child to be treated this way? |
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| Is there a cure for homosexuality? |
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| Homosexuality is not a disease or disorder, so there is nothing
to cure. |
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| Once my child is married s/he will
be happy |
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| Sexuality is not a choice, no one chooses to be LGBT. People
are not seduced or taught to be gay, and cannot be 'turned'
straight. |
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| Marraige can be destructive for your child, and lead to further
isolation, if you force your child to get married not only
will you be ruing his/her life but that of their spouse. |
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| The only real choice that LGBT people have is whether to
live their lives honestly, or according to their community's
unrealistic expectations, and by doing so be completely unhappy. |
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| Allah sent AIDS to punish homosexuals |
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| Ninety per cent of HIV cases are the result of sexual transmission
and 60–70% of HIV cases occur among heterosexuals. |
| - UNAIDS |
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| No disease can be considered a punishment from Allah. Regardless
of whether you are black, white, or any other colour, whether
you are LGBT, straight, rich or poor, whether you live anywhere
in the world, HIV has a potential to infect anyone. |
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| HIV is not a gay disease or a punishment from Allah. |
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